8 things you need to stop saying at work

While it might be true that more organisations are advocating a culture of open communication, there are still a handful of phrases which might be doing you more harm than good.

Being aware of the words you’re saying in the office, as well as the messages they are conveying, can make the difference between destroying workplace relations and empowering your team.

Here are eight phrases you should think about removing from your office vocabulary.

1. “This isn’t my job”
Sure, it may not be your responsibility to oversee a report or even refill the coffee machine, but taking on that extra bit of work goes a long way in showing you are a team player. However, if the job you’re being asked to do is unreasonable or coming in at a bad time, craft your response so that it is tactful and respectful.

Rather than saying “That’s not my problem” try something along the lines of, “I’d be happy to help but it might have to wait a while until I finish this task at hand”.

2. “With all due respect”
This is one of the most passive aggressive phrases in the office vocabulary, and operates almost exclusively as a disclaimer before you unleash a potentially rude or disrespectful remark. If you do need to give negative feedback to someone, do so sincerely and to the point. After all, honesty is often appreciated, especially if the recipient understands your intentions were good.

3. “I’m busy, can this wait?”
Not only does this immediately come off as rude, you are clearly telling the other party they are not worthy of your time and attention. Instead of blowing them off, take a minute to listen to their request, and politely reschedule a later time when it is more convenient for the both of you revisit the topic.

4. “I don’t like her”
We may have found research that suggests gossip can be good for workplace relationships, but that doesn’t mean you’re free to speak ill of your colleagues – or even worse, bosses. If you really find someone on your team intolerable, bring up the issue with your manager or HR leader in confidence. Avoid speaking to colleagues and further spinning the rumour mills – it’s only going to paint you as the bad guy.

5. “%&^#@*!”
This goes without saying but vulgarities are rarely – if ever – accepted in the workplace. However, if you do find it a struggle to avoid dropping the occasional f-bomb in the office, make sure you’re not doing it in the presence of your clients, customers or bosses.

6. “I may be wrong, but…”
You may have the best idea in the room, but starting a statement off with “This might sound stupid, but…” will immediately do you a disservice. Confidence can go a long way in helping your voice be heard in a discussion, so don’t be afraid to contribute to the discussion. Your idea may not make the cut at the end of the day, but at least your team will know you’re someone who isn’t afraid to be a part of the brainstorming process.

7. “He was disposable anyway”
A member of your team may have been removed due to a lack of competencies, but dismissing them as “replaceable” might make the rest of your team also believe they are not a valued asset. Sometimes, when you have nothing nice to say, it might be wise to just keep quiet.

8. “But we’ve always done it this way”
Being stubborn and resistance to change could be the biggest obstacle standing in the way of your team’s success. After all, change is the only constant, and in today’s dynamic and fast moving business landscape, it may not be a bad idea to hear out a colleague or manager’s suggestion on how to improve legacy business processes

What “I Need A New Job” Really Means.

J.T. O’Donnell

Posted: 13 May 2015 12:16:24 | Updated: 15 May 2015 09:26:38

Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a baseline, we can map out that, depending on how much of a person’s life needs are being met, their reasons for needing a new job can be directly tied to their perception of their current situation.

In 2015, we surveyed 1,000,000+ CAREEREALISM.com readers and asked them what their biggest career goal was for the year. 88% said they’re looking for a new job. This doesn’t surprise me. There isn’t a day that passes where someone reaches out to me by phone, email, or social media and says, “J.T., can you help me? I need a new job.” However, most people don’t understand the meaning of that statement varies quite a bit, depending on the person.

The “I Need A New Job” Spectrum
I have been career coaching for 12+ years. The last 5 1/2 years of my career have been focused on the study and development of online career coaching tools for the mass population. Why? School teaches you everything except how to get a job. And, with the average length of a job being just 18 months, every job is temporary. Which means, job search is now a skill every professional needs to survive. To make matters worse, up until recently, it was assumed that only professional athletes and high-ranking corporate executives could afford good career coaching. But now, thanks to the information age and technology, it’s finally possible for the everyday person to get access to quality career coaching – with the first step towards getting them the help they need being the understanding of where they fall on the, “I Need A New Job” Spectrum.

Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a baseline, we can map out that,depending on how much of a person’s life needs are being met, their reasons for needing a new job can be directly tied to their perception of their current situation.

This creates a spectrum for the “I need a new job,” statement as follows:
Physiological (I need more than a job.)

  • I don’t have a way to pay for food, water, and shelter – I can’t feed myself or my family.
  • I am getting less than 6 hours/night sleep due to lack of basic human needs.
  • I spend my days trying to figure out how to get money as fast as possible – no matter what I have to do. (i.e. I’d even consider doing something illegal if it meant I could get the money I need.)
  • I am physically sick from the extended stress of not being able to take care of myself.
  • I have tried everything I know how to do to get a job – and failed.
  • I have deep depression and anxiety because I am convinced I am in a helpless state.

Safety (I need a job.)

  • I’m going to lose my place of shelter in less than 30 days.
  • I am going into debt daily and can’t get out.
  • I’m using all my savings (or, already have).
  • In less than 60 days,I am not going to be able to support my family without assistance.
  • I am getting less than 7 hours/night sleep due to anxiety and fear of loss.
  • My physical health is starting to suffer from the on-going stress.

Love & Belonging (I need a career.)

  • I’m embarrassed about what I do for work.
  • I am under-employed.
  • My work keeps me from being able to have good relationships with family and friends.
  • I have a dead-end job.
  • My friends and family have better work situations than I do.
  • I spend a lot of time thinking about how my career is failing me.

Esteem (I need control over my career.)

  • I’m a good worker who deserves more recognition.
  • I’m worth more money than I’m making.
  • My potential isn’t being realized – and that’s embarrassing to me.
  • I’m not doing something I truly care about – I feel like I have ‘golden handcuffs’ because I’m working for someone else for the pay and benefits, not because it’s what I want to do.
  • I’m not getting the respect I deserve.
  • I should be working with smarter, better people.

Self-actualization (I need to maximize the impact my career can have.)

  • I know my strengths and want to use them to help others.
  • I have a passion for a problem that I want to solve by working with others.
  • Working is something I need to do to be a healthy person.
  • I can’t do this alone, I need team players that I admire and respect because they do things I can’t.
  • I want my work to make a difference so I can say I made an impact while I was alive.
  • Money is needed to be healthy and stable so I can do the work that needs to be done to change the world.

As you can see, one person’s reasons for stating, “I need a new job,” can vary greatly from another – creating confusion and conflict if they aren’t coached properly to support their real need.

NOTE: Things Get Worse When You Fall Backwards On The Spectrum
Knowing where you are on the spectrum can help you identify tools and resources that will let you climb to the next level. However, be warned, when you unexpectedly fall down the spectrum, it can be harder to climb back up.

How Job Loss Impacts the “Hierarchy of Needs” for a Job Seeker

When a person reaches a higher level on the, “I Need A Job” Spectrum, and then has a setback (i.e. unexpected job loss), they will go through a version of the Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief, which can often push them down Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, directly impacting the amount of time and their ability to find a job.

How Job Seekers Today Spiral Down The “I Need a Job” Spectrum
Because we aren’t properly skilled in job search and career development, here’s what a typical job search experience is like in 2015:

  1. Become disengaged from current job and either quit, get fired, or laid-off.
  2. Ponder over job situation for several days to several weeks.
  3. Follows the minimum guidelines for qualifying for unemployment, but essentially, takes time off before looking to “recover” from previous bad work experience. Wants to take time to figure out what kind of job they want next.
  4. Finally decides to apply to jobs, but only applies to jobs that they think they are qualified for, regardless of whether they are a 100% match to the job description.
  5. Wait several weeks and get no response.
  6. Apply to more jobs out of desperation, becoming less choosy and opting for a, “spray and pray” approach where they apply to anything they might remotely be a fit for.
  7. Wait several weeks and get no response.
  8. Depression sets in – feeling very alone in their search.
  9. Start looking for job search advice online.
  10. Decide to re-do the resume and spend money on a resume writer.
  11. Apply to a bunch of jobs with “new & improved” resume.
  12. No response.
  13. Depression firmly takes hold.
  14. Withdraws from society out of embarrassment. Wants to avoid friends, family, and others who continue to ask about their job search and why they can’t get hired.
  15. Stops applying for jobs – what’s the point?
  16. Starts to vent on social media (which is trackable by recruiters).
  17. Spends more time looking for *free* resources to help.
  18. The end of unemployment checks starts to be on the horizon.
  19. Seeks career coaching out of fear of running out of money, but can’t afford to spend a lot (if anything) due to dire financial situation.
  20. Learns 80% of all jobs are gotten via referral and that 8 out of 10 of their online applications were tossed by the Applicant Tracking System (ATS).
  21. Realize they haven’t been properly looking for work and need to start over and build a network and a personal brand in order to get a good job that they actually want, both of which takes time and money.
  22. Forced to take any job they can get, or are pushed to the point of needing outside assistance.
  23. Depression due to failure creates a crisis of confidence.
  24. Loses or quits job again (story repeats).

HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE: Job seekers must be drawn into a process that enable them to change their behavior patterns so they can get different, better results.

Where Are You On The “I Need A Job” Spectrum?

I’d love to know where readers see themselves on this spectrum and why. Share your stories. Tell me how you climbed the spectrum. Especially, if you had a setback. I want to know what you are doing to close your gap in knowledge and build your job search skill sets so you can ensure your needs are met.

Author Bio: J.T. O’Donnell has 18+ years of experience in the development of professional HR tools and resources. She has delivered 200+ presentations to more than 10,000 professionals on a wide variety of career topics.

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Can you legally rescind a job offer?

Rescinding an accepted job offer could be an expensive exercise, with employers told to be sure before inviting their prospect to sign on the dotted line.

Most employees in Singapore commence their employment with a probationary period of three to six months, after which they are made permanent.

Employers are entitled to terminate the employment contract before the probationary period comes to an end, by providing notice of usually 1-2 weeks or as stated in the contract, or by paying salary in lieu of notice.

However, HR teams have been advised to be aware of their responsibilities as soon as their employee signs their name on an employment contract.

Law firm David Lim & Partners LLP’s litigation department head Doris Chia told HRD Singapore that a job offer is the same as any other offer – it has to first be accepted by the employee in order for it to be binding on the employer.

“If the job offer was made but not yet accepted, then there is no binding contract which can be breached by the retraction of the job offer,” she explained.

However, if an employee has indeed been given a contract to sign, it is not as easy for a HR manager to go back on the offer and change their mind.

“A revocation of the job offer will cause the employer to be in breach of contract and it will be liable for any damage which may be suffered by the employee,” Chia told HRD.

For example, Chia said if the potential employee had resigned from his or her old job as a result of the job offer this could result in liability, particularly if any new job they find ends up paying less and disadvantaging them financially.

“The loss will be the difference between what the employer would have paid him and what he was earning in the previous position or in the new ‘second choice job’,” Chia said. “However, such compensation must be reasonable and depends on the circumstances of each case.”

Employees in Singapore are governed by the Employment Act or the terms of their employment contract, and employers and HR staff are obliged to follow legal obligations under contracts, including probationary periods.

There are a number of reasons employers can choose to terminate employees under the Employment Act. They include unsatisfactory probation performance, breach of contract by an employee, employee dismissal on grounds of misconduct, employee dismissal on grounds other than misconduct, employee transfers, employee retirement and employee retrenchment.

Are you asking illegal interview questions?

Have you ever asked a job applicant on their plans to have children, their religious denomination, or whether they drink or smoke?

All of the above are unlawful in Singapore.

But if you have, you’re not alone – a CareerBuilder survey released this month showed that one in five employers has unknowingly asked an illegal interview question, with at least one in three employers unsure about the legality of certain interview questions.

The following questions are definitely off the cards:

– What is your religious affiliation?
– Are you pregnant?
– What is your political affiliation?
– What is your race, colour or ethnicity?
– How old are you?
– Are you disabled?
– Are you married?
– Do you have children or plan to?
– Are you in debt?
– Do you socially drink or smoke?

Leading Singapore employment lawyer Susan de Silva, partner at ATMD Bird & Bird, told HRD Singapore the above questions are contrary to the Tripartite Guidelines on Fair Employment Practices.

“The first principle of such Fair Employment Practices is that employers should recruit and select employees on the basis of merit (such as skills, experience or ability to perform the job), and regardless of age, race, gender, religion, marital status and family responsibilities, or disability.

“These questions fall into the “regardless” group of considerations, and are inappropriate.”

An employer also runs the risk of breaching the Personal Data Protection Act with such questions, de Silva said.

“Singapore’s data privacy laws [require] organisations to ask only for personal data which is reasonably necessary for the purpose for which the data is being collected. These questions [above] are not evidently necessary for the purpose of evaluating a person’s ability to do the job.”

Companies with discriminatory hiring practices can expect to be subject to additional scrutiny by the Ministry of Manpower and, in serious cases, may have their work pass privileges for hiring foreign employees curtailed by MOM, she said.

de Silva provided some tips for employers around structuring interviews:

  • Have a list of selection criteria to be applied consistently to all candidates.
  • Prepare a list of interview questions directly related to the selection criteria identified and review whether these questions are relevant to the job.
  • Should questions which may be perceived as discriminatory be asked, the reasons for asking such information should be made known to the candidate to prevent misunderstanding.
  • Undertake interviews with more than one interviewer, if possible, and ensure that interviewers are familiar with the principles of fair employment.

Areas of law employers need to be aware of when interviewing applicants include: